Chaneling WC Fields

W. C. Fields (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946) was an American juggler, comedian, and actor. Fields created one of the great American comic personas of the first half of the 20th century—a misanthrope who teetered on the edge of buffoonery but never quite fell in, an egotist blind to his own failings, a charming drunk; and a man who hated children, dogs, and women, unless they were the wrong sort of women. - Wiki

I have, arguably, an undesirable way of life. I'm perpetually homeless, stressed to the point of going grey, bounce between unbalanced men, and act like a dick to people who don't deserve it.

However.

When I feel like sleeping, I usually sleep. When I feel like trashing my liver, I do that too. Most of the time, if I feel like telling someone to suck it, it's gonna happen.

Someone had confronted me about that, and in my defense, a third party replied "she's just channeling WC Fields and fucking Alistair Crowley".

So. The next time I start to regret an audible office fart, I'm just going to remember that crazy old man who waits in the bushes with a BB gun, and remember that apparently I'm his second coming.

While I'm at it: Fuck you too, Sammy Hagar. We didn't want you here anyway.